Everybody poops...

As we continue to try to poop on the toilet, we find ourselves starting to poop in our undies and finishing on the toilet.

This morning, after such event occurs (and every time such event occurs), we must checkout what we've deposited in the toilet.

This morning was a long, skinny turd.

"SNAKE POOP MOM!!! I MAKE SNAKE POOP!!!  SNAKE POOP!!!! SSSSSSSS!!!!"

And then proceeded to tell his sitter.

And this is why potty training won't kill me.  Yet.

Sometimes, you just have to eat your grapes.

PJ and Maggie are 18.5 months apart.  Sometimes this causes a bit of chaos, a bit of rivalry, a bit of both wanting Mommy all to themselves.  Sometimes there's hitting, kicking, hair pulling.

But most of the time?  There's love, caring, affection, and laughter.

Yesterday, before leaving for the sitter, I put some grapes in a baggie.  PJ always picks the mixed grapes when we go to store -- green for him, purple for Maggie.  So I put a mixture of both. 

I was putting them in my purse when he saw them.

"I take the grapes, Mommy."

"Okay, bud. Remember to share with Maggie."

"Maggie, do you want a grape?"

"Uh-huh!"

He hands her a (purple) grape and I get them out and settled in the car. As we're driving, I hear

"More grapes Maggie?"

I look in the mirror and see Maggie shake her head feverishly.  And then I see PJ reach in the bag, take out a purple grape, and stretch his arm across as far as he can to get to Maggie.  She notices, and reaches her arm across.

"REACH Maggie!"

Finally, their hands meet.

"YAY!! Maggie you got the grape!"

Maggie dissolves in giggles and eats her grape.  PJ takes a green one.

This occurred the entire time to the sitter.  Which is only 10 minutes, but it was by far the best 10 minutes of my day.

In 20 years or so, I hope they still reach to each other.  I hope they are close, that they lean on each other, that they laugh together, that they love each other.

Sibling love is something I never had.  I am so glad that they do.

Hardest thing....

I've figured it out.

The hardest thing to do as a parent.

It's not the lack of sleep. It's not teething. It's not breastfeeding.

Oh no, my friends.

It's fricking POTTY TRAINING.

If I could pay someone to potty train PJ, I would.

He's doing pretty good.  I got some nifty app that plays "I'm a big kid now!" and gives him a sticker when he pees.  Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I took him to pee every half hour.

He had no pee accidents.  He also never told us he had to pee.

Poop?  Forget it.  He poops and then says I pooped!

I tried to put him on the toliet, but no go.

We've ruined three pairs of underwear -- underwear is not that important that I'm going to spend an hour trying to clean pooped stained underwear that is all over - but that's good, I guess.

He was dry last night.  He hasn't peed in the car when we've left (very briefly this weekend).

People keep telling me it will just click.

I sure hope so.

I also taught him how to pee outside.  In the grass.  So now when we are outside, he says "I pee in grass Mommy."

Klassy right here.

Our sitter is continuing. 

It's going to be okay, right?

Happy 3rd Birthday, PJ!

PJ turns 3 tomorrow.  Chances are I won't blog since I'm taking the day off to spend with him.  So here is his tribute, today.

Dear PJ,

Happy 3rd Birthday to my little guy.  I cannot believe you are three years old.  I remember so vividly the moment I saw you for the first time.  I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes when I held you for the first time and you looked at me.  I have never been so happy.

You made me a mama.  You were beautiful and perfect.  You had dark hair, and looked just like your daddy.  I couldn't believe how gorgeous you were. 

You have grown up so much.  You are such a boy.   You get dirty, you play rough, you run.  You love to play sports, especially golf, and you can identify every Chicago sports team.  You are independent, but you still need your mama.  You are smart.  You amaze me with the things you know, the things you do, the things you say.

You are loving and caring.  When you see that I am sad, you ask "What's wrong Mama?"  and you give me a hug and a kiss, complete with a pat on the back.  You tell me "No cry Mama" when I cry in front of you, which I try not to do.  Although you are sometimes not so nice to your sister, you take pride in being her big brother.  You stand up for her when other kids are mean to her. You tell me if she's crying and you hug her and try to make her feel better. She loves you so much.  I know, even so young, she looks up to you.

Everyday that passes I love you more.  I am amazed at how at 3 years old, your personality is without question.  You sometimes want to do everything yourself, and sometimes, you want mama to do it.  You're a picky eater, but I'll let you slide. 

I'll never forget when you were a baby and I'd rock you to sleep in my arms.  When I'd gaze in your crib and just watch you sleep, your sweet, angelic perfect face peacefully in dreamland.  And while I don't rock you to sleep anymore, sometimes I still sneak in to watch you sleep, and see that sweet, angelic perfect face -- albiet, older -- still peacefully in dreamland.  Your demands for hugs and kisses make me melt.  And hearing you say I love you is the greatest part of my day.

I love you so much, my sweet son, my first born.  I love every last bit of you, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.  You're spirit, intelligence, sense of humor and pure joy inspire me every day to make sure to appreciate the day.  You've made me stop and remember not to sweat the small stuff, to be grateful for what I have, and to realize that at the end of the day, all that matters is that I have a family that can't wait to see me.

I love you, Patrick John.  Happy Birthday baby.

Life's Lessons: The Wearing Shorts In March Edition

1.  Dudes.  It was 80 in Chicago yesterday.

2.  Yesterday was March 15.

3.  There's been plenty of March 15 (and later) that we've been bundled up with hats, gloves ands scarves, and shoveling snow.

4.  My kids wore shorts yesterday.  And sandals.

5.  Today I have flip flops on.

6.  We played basketball outside. 

7.  PJ would yell "I missed!"  or "Nice shot!"

8.  Maggie ran around yelling "WANNA DO!"

9.  PJ pushed Maggie around in the Cozy Coupe.

10.  Lots of giggles.

11.  Did you know bubbles are apparently a delicacy?

12.  Because Maggie put the damn wand in her mouth about 100 times.

13.  Tomorrow is St. Paddy's Day.

14.  I'll wear green. 

15.  Maybe have a green apple martini.

That's my boy.

John fake tackled me and pushed me on the bed.

PJ runs over, stands in front of me, put his arms out and flexes and says, LOUDLY,

"DON'T YOU PUSH MY MAMA!"

In a raspy, threatening voice.

That's my boy.

Life's Lessons: The This has No Logical Pattern edition

1.  Bought PJ and Mags sunglasses.

2.  PJ loves them "My sunglasses Mommy?"  "Where's my sunglasses Mama?"

3.  Maggie?  Couldn't care less.

4.  My little guy turns three in less than two weeks, by the way.

5.  Um, how the hell did that happen?
6.  New Girl is by far one of my favorite shows EVER.

7.  Two weeks from today The Hunger Games comes out.

8.  I went to dinner Monday with my BFF without kids.  I can't tell you the last time I went to dinner with a friend on a weeknight without kids.

9.  We're hopefully going to be moving soon.  More on that at a later date.

10.  I am so excited it's almost officially grilling season.

11.  Grilling is my favorite way to cook. 

12.  Husband does a lot of it.

13.  And there are less dishes.

Sounds of the morning

PJ:

"Mama, we go to zoo?"

"Oh, buddy, I'm sorry mommy has to go to work today.  We'll go back to the zoo soon."

"we go to zoo soon? okay mama."
(10 minutes later on the way to the car)

"Is soon now Mama?  We go to zoo?"


Passing the bush where the birds hang out.

PJ:

Birdies mama!! Bird Fly!! TWEET TWEET!

Maggie:  Twee Twee!! (Giggle)


Sitting at a light that just turned green.

Maggie: GOOOOOOOO!!!


Driving to the sitter:

We're going to see Mrs. McGrath!

PJ:  Not there yet Mama.

Leaving the sitter for work.

"Bye guys, I love you!"

PJ:  "Love you Mama!"

Maggie:  waving good-bye frantically

Sometimes, mornings aren't so bad.

Ten things to smile about

I'm linking up with Emmy today for Ten Things to Smile About.  If you haven't checked Emmy out yet, you should. :)

1.  Maggie gives kisses now.  They are open mouth kisses, but adorable and cute and there's not much better than open mouth kisses from your baby girl.

2.  I got to have a great holiday celebration with these lovely ladies:

3.   PJ got to play in the snow and had so much fun.

4.  Sibling love, instead of rivalry.

5.  The Packers lost to the Giants in the playoffs, thus ensuring me to be able to watch the Super Bowl again.

6.  It's going to be nearly 60 degrees in Chicago today -- so we are grilling steaks.  This doesn't happen in January in Chicago.

7.  Had a play date with my two oldest and best friends -- seen here in our younger YOUNGER days.  (and yes, we are in a bathtub, at the Tropicana Hotel in Las Vegas).

8.  Result of said play date:

9.  I made chicken tortilla soup for the first time and it was delicious.

10.  I got a new blog follower on the last day of January (HINT, HINT -- you know you want to be #63!!)
 



Hugs.

Best big brother ever.

Life Lessons: The I Can't Come Up with a Clever Title Edition

1.  This week? Was my first 5 day week since the week of December 12.

2.  Not awesome.

3.  PJ officially remembers stuff.  We were reading a book with a polar bear last night, and he said "Polar bear jumped in the water mama!" (This happened at the zoo a couple months ago and the polar bear put on a show which eventually ended with him jumping in the water).

4.  Maggie will pound her hand on her chest and say baby!

5.  Speaking of Maggie -- earrings do NOT stay in little girls ears.  We've lost so many earrings.  It's frustrating.

6.  So I got those little plastic thingies and put them on the back of the earring on top of the original earring back.

7.  Those bitches better stay on there.

8.  Started our taxes last night -- still waiting for my W-2 from the workplace from hell.

9.  We are getting a good return - YAY!

10.  Which means operation "Shopping all day by myself without children or men" will commence soon.

11.  I haven't had steak since New Years Day.  I am starting to go through withdrawal.

12.  I'm almost done reading 11/22/63.  I was skeptical, but I really really like it.

13.  Maggie is almost in 18 month clothes completely.  She probably could be, but I am being super lazy about switching out the clothes, plus she doesn't enough yet, which is part of what will be happening during #10 above.

14.  I am planning on buying her about 6 pairs of shoes from Target.com though.  The store never has what I want.

15.  I'm going to see Brad Paisley and Miranda Lambert.  At Wrigley Field.  And we have seats ON THE FIELD.

16.  Life is good.

Chocket.

This is what PJ was asking me for this morning.

CHOCKET MAMA!
I stood there puzzled.

What do you want baby??

CHOCKET MAMA!!! While waving his cup at me...

Finally, annoyed with my stupidity, he went to the fridge, opened it, and took out the Hershey's Syrup.

CHOCKET FOR MY MILK!

Ah.  Chocolate.

:)

Pfffbt.

That's how I feel today.  Like Pfffbt.

I've got this icky feeling I've had since last week that I just can't shake. 

I have nothing of substance to blog about. 

So here's some, as tv shows would call them, clips.

***Maggie was getting off the chair, and as she did, kicked PJ in the head.  PJ, not to be outdone, proceeded to try and roundhouse kick her in the head, since they were both standing.  John had to turn away in laughter and I had to squeak out "no, buddy, Maggie didn't mean it" without laughing in his face.

***Took Mags for her 15 month check up.  We were in the train room.  There was a train signal light with a red light and a green light.

"PJ, what color is this (pointing to green light)?"

"GREEN!"

"Good!  What color is this (pointing to red light)?"

After some thought, "NOT GREEN!"

***At every red light -- STOP MAMA.  At every green light -- GO MAMA.

***babaw -- Maggie trying to say football.

***Chicken Tortilla Soup I made for dinner last night = success.

And a large, huge, THANK YOU to the New York Giants for beating the Green Bay Packers, and thus allowing me to watch the Super Bowl this year.

Hopefully next week is a better week.

Proud.

The other day we got home and I had PJ and Maggie's juice in those take and toss cups (which by the way, if you don't have, you should get, because they are awesome).

I couldn't remember who had the blue one and who had the green one.   I said to Maggie,

"Do you want your juice?"

"Okay!" (She's too cute when she says okay).

I give her the blue one.

She runs away.

Comes back a minute later, empty handed, grabs the green one.

I walk into PJ's room and see PJ has the blue one.

She went to give PJ the blue cup, because apparently, she remembers who has which cup.

Resolutions I'd like PJ and Maggie to make

I've decided you're never too young to try and change things for the better, right?

PJ

1.  I will refrain from pushing, hitting, or grabbing Maggie when she begins playing with a toy I didn't even know we still had, or that I haven't touched in days. 

2.  I will learn that they are trucks, not cocks.  And socks, not cocks.

3.  I will tell Mommy or Daddy or whatever grown up is around when I have to go pee BEFORE I go.

4.  I will not dump my lego bin, memory game, or various other toys with many pieces out on the floor just so I can see Mommy look for the bottle of Grey Goose.

5.  I will try new foods, like chicken and steak.

6.  Instead of announcing "I'm peeing!" in the bathtub, and then proceeding to pee on Maggie, I will at least wait till Maggie out of the tub.

Maggie

1.  I will not have a meltdown four seconds after getting into my car seat if Mommy doesn't give me fruit snacks immediately.

2.  I will stop trying to eat paintbrushes.

3.  I will stop changing the 1080i setting on the cable box. Or, I will figure out how to change it back so Mommy can stop asking Daddy.

4.  I will stop throwing my food onto the floor when I am done, or just angry for whatever reason. 

5.  When I can talk, I will tell Gramma the reason I cry when I am with her is because she never visits and she takes me away from Mommy.

What resolutions do your kids need to make?

Chicago finally realized it's winter.

Hey everyone.  I hope you all had a great Christmas and a good New Year's.  I had a great time off, which was littered with unusually warm winter days for Chicago -- 30s and 40s, even a 50 I think.

Not today.  Today it was 12 when I left.  Good times.

Anyway.  I've missed you all.  And here's what you've missed. :)

**Went to dinner with friends the first night of my vacation.  Had three-four martinis.  Talked about myself in third person.

**Went to Winter Wonderfest at Navy Pier with the kids.  So much fun.   Will be more fun when the kids are a bit older but we still managed to have THIS MUCH FUN:

Christmas Eve.  First, here's Maggie in her adorable "russian" coat.

**I got Maggie dressed first and PJ saw her and said "Maggie, you look cute!" then took her hand, lead her to the couch and said "Cheese mama!"  The result:



We went to my parents.  Of course, there's not much we can get my mom, so I emailed a bunch of her friends and former co-workers and asked them to write letters to her talking about the fun times they had.  I put all the letters in a scrapbook.  She of course cried, but I have been told she has now read all the letters and loves it.  John and I also wrote one.

Then we  had Christmas Eve with John's mom in her trailer.  Yes trailer.  As in trailer park.  We'll save that post for another day.   It went surprisngly well, except for the fact my MIL will not stop saying shit about Maggie being too attached to me. 

The girl is in a clingy stage, and she also never sees you.  Maybe if you saw your grandkids more often.  Some gems:

**You're NOT going by your mother (while taking her out of my line of sight, which of course makes Mags scream hysterically).

**You really have to cut off this connection between you and Maggie.  It's ridiculous.

**You mom has to go and ruin everything (by saying good-bye when I was leaving the other day and she was babysitting).

And variations of this.  I'm about to rip her eyes out.

Oh and she bought my almost three year old that Go Fish game.  You know the game with about 50 little fish who's mouths open and close?  WHO DOES THAT???

Christmas morning went awesome.  Kids loved all their toys.  I got a KINECT!! For the Xbox.  John was all worried I wouldn't like it, but I love it.  Except my arms are so fricking sore today I don't even know what to do with myself.

I also got jewely.  Boy knows better, okay??

The rest of our vacation was a lot of just hanging out around the house, seeing some friends, etc.  It sucks to be back at work.  I'd stay home everyday if I could.  :)

Oh and can I just say?  I am ready for all the tv shows to come back.  Good lord.



Ten Things For Thursday

I'm stealing this idea from Rebecca, my awesome bloggy friend.  You should read mine, comment, and then go read hers.

10 Things I Love

1.  When PJ grabs my face and kisses me on the lips.

2.  The way Maggie was just hugging and hugging her Daddy this morning.

3.  Knowing we've finished wrapping the kids' gifts.

4.  The fact that we're going to our annual Christmas dinner with some good friends next week, and that it's at Ruth's Chris.

5.  New Girl.  Seriously.  This show is amazing.

6.  Conan.  I will never stop loving Conan.

7.  The look on PJ's face when he took a bite of a jalapeno cheeseburger -- even though I warned him.

8.  That I get my bonus tomorrow.

9.  Turkey -- which I am making on Sunday.

10.  The holiday breakfast I'm about to consume at work.

10 Things I hate

1.  People who stop in the middle of the sidewalk for no reason but to be a moron.

2.  The fact that it's raining in December.

3.  Laundry

4.  Dishes

5.  Figuring out what to make for dinner every night.

6.  Family Guy (yes, I hate this show).

7.  Stupid Drivers

8.  The fact that the Packers are undefeated. 

9.  Sealing envelopes on Christmas Cards. 

10.  Poopy diapers.

10 Things I don't give a shit about.

1.  Politics

2.  The Kardashians, Jersey Shore, any other reality TV morons.

3.  If and when Kim Middleton is going to get pregnant.

4.  The Coke cans look like Diet Coke cans, because somehow I was able to figure it out.

5.  If it's time for the perculator.

6.  What my hair looks like after I take my hat off.

7.  How unbelievable American Horror Story is -- I still fucking love it.

8.  College Football and all of the bowl games.

9.  Anything on the history channel.

10.  That sometimes my kids have cookies for breakfast.

Dammit, I want snow.

It's Chicago.

Usually by this time of year, we've shoveled a couple times.

We've had about half a centimeter of snow.

It's Christmastime.  I like snow covering the bushes, while the christmas lights shine through.  I like seeing the white stuff, because it feels more Christmasy.   Santa likes snow.

So I want it to snow dammit.  I don't want a blizzard, I don't want to have trouble driving (although this happens no matter what, because let's face it, people are dumb).  I want it to look like Christmas is in two fucking weeks.

I want to take PJ and Maggie outside to sled, to play, to make snowmen and throw snowballs.

So dammit.  Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

It's the holiday season....weekend wrapup

I'm back.  Did you miss me?   Sorry about the Tiny Prints posts -- but I scored some free holdiay cards and that makes me happy.

Thanksgiving was awesome.  Delicious turkey.  My only problem?  No leftovers.  I am attempting to make my own turkey in a couple weeks so we can have fricking leftovers!! Turkey sandwiches, turkey soup....love to eat turkey (I know we've covered this).

Potty training? Blows.  However, we did introduce the little frog potty, and PJ seems to be liking that much better.  He won't tell us when he has to go just yet, but he does sit on it and go pretty much every time we bring him to it.  So that's something.  My best friend told me it took her two months start to finish with her boys.  As long as he's good to go by his third birthday in March, I'll be a happy mama.  But seriously.  Hardest thing I've had to do as a parent - so far.

We got all our Christmas stuff up over the weekend - except the tree, because we get a real one so we wait till the first week of December.   PJ is just amazed by our Santa outside - he loves it.  I cannot wait till Christmas this year, it's going to be so awesome.

Saturday was the hospice meeting for my mom.  I let her in. I explained to her my mom was against it, both my parents are in a bit of denial, and I thought hospice should have come in months ago. She totally understood.  It's important to note this meeting was almost cancelled because my stepdad fell over the coffee table on Thanksgiving night, and dropped my mom and she face planted and her face is horribly bruised.  He wanted to cancel because he didn't want anyone to see her like that.  Luckily, I was able to talk sense into him, how this is the REASON he needs help.


We discussed why we thought hospice was needed. My stepdad explained how every 2-3 minutes (literally) he has to reposition her on the couch. How he hasn't left the house since 2:30 p.m. on Wednesday. I said he needed help, he can't do it alone.

Penny said that accepting hospice is simply managing symptoms to make you comfortable. That their goal is to make her comfortable. That's it. Whatever it takes, they will do it. She told my stepdad it's obvious he has taken wonderful care of my mom and there's nothing wrong with getting help.

He freaked out at this point and yelled "I have not done a wonderful job!!! Look at her face!"  Penny explained that the fall is one of the reasons he can't expect to do this alone.

She also asked if there was a DNR in place. I said no. She asked my mom if she would want to be resuscitated if her heart stopped. I haven't seen my mom move her head so adamantly in months -- NO.  My stepdad was visibly upset by this. Penny explained that there was a form to be signed because otherwise medical personnel is required to do chest compressions and/or insert a tube.

My mom is getting Ativan for anxiety and restlessness, which will hopefully help with her constantly needing to be adjusted. She's also getting Ambien to help her sleep -- they sleep 2-3 hours a night. She also has pain medicine, stool softenenerand some other medications that will be added to and/or adjusted as needed. A nurse will go there daily. An aide will come and bathe her and wash her hair and style her hair. My stepdad was beside himself for this -- he straightens my moms hair every other day and the aide will do this. The aides will also come sit with my mom so he can go to the store, the doctor, whatever he needs to do.

She also finally agreed to a hospital bed, after some convincing by me. I explained it might make her feel more comfortable, that she might not be in so much pain. I also told her to do it for stepdad, so he doesn't have to worry about falling if she's in an adjustable bed.  The meds came that night and they've slept better -- not fantastic, but much better since.

So that is my weekend wrapup. 

And I really need to start fucking Christmas shopping.

Hello to all of you!

I recently gained about 6 new followers, so I want to welcome you and say I am soooo glad you are here (along with all my old followers who I love)!

I want to check you out so leave me a comment with your blog so I can! I'm too lazy to look in my followers list, is that okay?? Plus then other peeps might check you out as well.

This week is kind of crazed so just a few tidbits:

We bought a Santa decoration for outside and PJ is beside himself.  Santa! Santa! SANTA!!  I think he likes Santa.

Maggie says shoes!  Shoes shoes shoes shoes.  However, all she ever does is take off her shoes...

PJ says socks -- but he says COCKS.  Oh boy.

He also says sit.  But he says TIT.

So we have lots of cocks and tit in our house these days.

My stepdad finally decided to call for hospice for my mom.  I am so glad.  He desperately needs the help.

It's almost thanksgiving, and in case you missed it, I LOVE TURKEY.

Gobble gobble.