Johnny's dad passed away on Friday. His body simply couldn't fight anymore. We lost him at 12:44 p.m.
My husband has been a symbol of strength for his sister, his grandmother, for himself. He says he feels weak, but he is strong. He is devastated and having a hard time accepting that he can't joke about the weather with his dad, that he can't call them when the Bears beat the Packers on Sunday (which they will), that he can't ask for advice when he needs it. However, he says he feels that his dad is still guiding him, and helping him and I feel that he is too.
The past few days have been rough. The outpouring of love and support from our friends, family, and extended family has been overwhelming. There was never a lull in the people paying their respects to Pop. Our friends have stepped up in ways I could not even begin to explain. And althoug they will never read this, John Blair, Steve Blair, and Mike Simmons -- you have no idea how much you have helped Johnny through this. You are fantastic friends and we are forever lucky to have you as part of our lives.
Myself, I am having a hard time. It hurts me to see Johnny hurting so much. Especially since I can't take the pain away or make it better. I am also having all kinds of thoughts about my mom and things that are going to be happen with her. Terry came to the funeral, and it was weird to see him without my mom -- this was the first time I'd seen him somewhere without her. And it was rough.
Johnny finally understands how I feel when I say my mom is gone. She's physically still here, but she's not here. I can't call her for advice, or do anything with her anymore. If anything, I think this will help him help me get through the inevitable end that is coming soon.
PJ and Maggie have been the reason we have been able to get through this. No matter how sad John was, PJ would giggle or Maggie would smile and they would put a smile on his face. Children are the best way to cheer you up.
Pop, thank you for raising the wonderful man I married. Thank you for treating me as a daughter and for loving our children with all you had. I know the pride and love you had for all of us and I will never, ever forget that.
I hope you keep looking down on us. And make sure you're hanging out over Soldier Field on Sunday.
Good-bye, Pop.
The O'Gs. No, not the Original Gangstas. But close.
Showing posts with label love you. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love you. Show all posts
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
La You!
I know, I know. LOG, WTF is La You?
Well, this is how PJ, my happiness, the greatest part of my life, said LOVE YOU to me and John the other day -- Monday, June 14, 2010. That's right. It was only once, he had no idea what it meant, but it doesn't matter. My little guy said La You and it was seriously the greatest thing I've ever heard. He also gives kisses now, open mouth ones, but kisses nonetheless.
The unbelievable sense of love, pride, and happiness I get from being a mother is undescribable. There is nothing a smile, hug, or kiss from PJ can't cure. Everyday I am amazed at the things he has learned, the things he is determined to figure out, or the things he can do that are so seemless it's as if he knew how to do them all along. I love feeling his little hand on my face, or his head buried into my shoulder. I love when he walks around cracking up and laughing at whatever game we are playing. I love watching him sleep, I love stroking his back gently when I need to wake him up, and watching him stretch in his bed before he opens his eyes and gives me a big smile.
Some people say that those of us who think motherhood is great and don't admit that it's hard or not fun sometimes are just in denial. Yes motherhood is hard. It is hard everyday that I have to leave PJ at the sitter to go to work. It is hard when he is sick or hurt and I can't fix it. It is hard when I can't get anything done because PJ's having a clingy day. But all of the amazing wonderful and great things that I get from being a mother outweigh these so much. I am not in denial. Motherhood isn't everything I thought it would be. It's much, MUCH more.
Well, this is how PJ, my happiness, the greatest part of my life, said LOVE YOU to me and John the other day -- Monday, June 14, 2010. That's right. It was only once, he had no idea what it meant, but it doesn't matter. My little guy said La You and it was seriously the greatest thing I've ever heard. He also gives kisses now, open mouth ones, but kisses nonetheless.
The unbelievable sense of love, pride, and happiness I get from being a mother is undescribable. There is nothing a smile, hug, or kiss from PJ can't cure. Everyday I am amazed at the things he has learned, the things he is determined to figure out, or the things he can do that are so seemless it's as if he knew how to do them all along. I love feeling his little hand on my face, or his head buried into my shoulder. I love when he walks around cracking up and laughing at whatever game we are playing. I love watching him sleep, I love stroking his back gently when I need to wake him up, and watching him stretch in his bed before he opens his eyes and gives me a big smile.
Some people say that those of us who think motherhood is great and don't admit that it's hard or not fun sometimes are just in denial. Yes motherhood is hard. It is hard everyday that I have to leave PJ at the sitter to go to work. It is hard when he is sick or hurt and I can't fix it. It is hard when I can't get anything done because PJ's having a clingy day. But all of the amazing wonderful and great things that I get from being a mother outweigh these so much. I am not in denial. Motherhood isn't everything I thought it would be. It's much, MUCH more.
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