I have a new goal in life.

I have a new goal in life.  I feel like I am a pretty good mama.  I realize I haven't had teenagers yet who hate me, but nonetheless, I think I am pretty kick ass.  I have a goal to continue to be a kick ass mama for all my years.

However, I now have a new goal.

It's a very, very important goal.  A goal I think PJ and Maggie will appreciate very much in the future. Along with their future spouses.

My new goal?  To be a kickass, non intrusive, non judgemental, non bitchy MOTHER-IN-LAW.

I don't feel this will be difficult to achieve.  I feel, that as long as I follow the list of things below, I will be good.

Disclaimer:  some of these have happened to me, some to friends of mine, or to friends of friends.  However, I think they are all under what not to do as a MIL.

1.  I will not tell my future daughter in law that her child spends "too much time with her" and take said child away.

2.  I will not tell my future daughter in law that she needs to "cut the connection" her child has with her because "it's ridiculous."

3.  I will not complain to my future daughter in law about Maggie.

4.  I will not turn down my son or daughter if they ask me to watch my grandchildren because I am not working.  I will also not charge them to do so.

5.  I will be sure to see my grandchildren on a very regular basis; regardless if they live 5 or 30 minutes away from me. 

6.  I will offer to take my grandchildren overnight so PJ and his wife or Maggie and her husband can have a much needed night off.

7.  I will not buy Maggie or my future daughter in law lingerie in hopes that "they will make me a grandkid."

8.  I will not make my children and their spouses fear telling me they are expecting. 

9.  I will understand when my kids need to leave because my grandchildren need to go home and get to bed.

10.  I will not keep my grandchildren up past their bed time so I can spend more time with them, because I will be practicing #5 above.

11.  I will not insist on getting Christmas lists from my kids so they know exactly what I am getting them.

12.  I will not speak badly about anyone in the family who my kids are close to but that I do not like. 

I am sure there are more, but I think if I keep these 12 in check, I am good to go.

What do you promise not to do as a MIL?

This has nothing to do with babies.

But occasionally, one of these posts is gonna come up.

So my wonderful (and I mean that these days, because as weird/annoying/odd as she was when all the shit was going on, now she truly is wonderful) MIL wanted to go with her boyfriend, me and Johnny over to my parents so they could meet Ken (her BF) and she could see my mom, because they get along well.   We planned it for next weekend, the 25th.

So my mom calls me today and says she wants to do it in May.   I say, well, that's gonna be difficult because MIL and BF go to their lakehouse and I know they are going the first weekend in May, the next weekend is Mother's Day, the weekend after that we have stuff going on, etc...why do you want to wait till May?  She says because she wants to be outside.  Um....okay, it might be nice outside.  But the table is not out there.  I don't get it.   I tell her May won't work, and we'll probably have to wait till June.  Oh that's fine she says.  And then.

She starts crying.  For those of you who don't know, a symptom of ALS is the inability to control your emotions, which means crying/laughing for no reason.   Even though I know this, I can't help but feel like I made her start crying when she starts while talking to me.  And then she cries, and tries to speak, and forgive me for using this word, and she sounds retarded.  And I can't stand it.   So I tell her to stop crying, and she can't, so she says she'll call me back.

She does.  She says she's sorry, I say it's fine. She says we'll do it in June, I say fine.  Even though, to me, it's not fine.

And then I find out that other people are going over to her house to visit her next weekend.  That's okay?? They don't have to be outside?? WHAT THE FUCK.

My MIL doesn't have to go over there.   But she wants to.  And she has been an unbelievable support to me and I am pissed off that for some reason, other people can go see my mom and be inside or whatever the fuck but my MIL cannot.   And I am pissed and there is nothing I can do about it.  Just like there was nothing I can do about the fact that they showed up 90 minutes LATE for PJ's birthday party, and then proceeded to leave 90 minutes later.   I know things take longer nowadays, but you KNOW what time it starts. And they had the cake.

Sigh.  I'm so fucking tired of all of this.