RIP, FIL

Johnny's dad passed away on Friday.  His body simply couldn't fight anymore.  We lost him at 12:44 p.m.

My husband has been a symbol of strength for his sister, his grandmother, for himself.  He says he feels weak, but he is strong.  He is devastated and having a hard time accepting that he can't joke about the weather with his dad, that he can't call them when the Bears beat the Packers on Sunday (which they will), that he can't ask for advice when he needs it.  However, he says he feels that his dad is still guiding him, and helping him and I feel that he is too.

The past few days have been rough.  The outpouring of love and support from our friends, family, and extended family has been overwhelming.  There was never a lull in the people paying their respects to Pop.  Our friends have stepped up in ways I could  not even begin to explain.  And althoug they will never read this, John Blair, Steve Blair, and Mike Simmons -- you have no idea how much you have helped Johnny through this.  You are fantastic friends and we are forever lucky to have you as part of our lives.

Myself, I am having a hard time.  It hurts me to see Johnny hurting so much.  Especially since I can't take the pain away or make it better.  I am also having all kinds of thoughts about my mom and things that are going to be happen with her.  Terry came to the funeral, and it was weird to see him without my mom -- this was the first time I'd seen him somewhere without her.  And it was rough.

Johnny finally understands how I feel when I say my mom is gone.  She's physically still here, but she's not here.  I can't call her for advice, or do anything with her anymore.  If anything, I think this will  help him help me get through the inevitable end that is coming soon.

PJ and Maggie have been the reason we have been able to get through this. No matter how sad John was, PJ would giggle or Maggie would smile and they would put a smile on his face.  Children are the best way to cheer you up.

Pop, thank you for raising the wonderful man I married.  Thank you for treating me as a daughter and for loving our children with all you  had.  I know the pride and love you had for all of us and I will never, ever forget that.

I hope you keep looking down on us.  And make sure you're hanging out over Soldier Field on Sunday.

Good-bye, Pop.