PYHO: Too much stuff

I have so many things I want to pour my heart about, and none are really entire post worthy, so I'm just going to pour my heart about little things. :)

PYHO 1.  I love Facebook.  I really do.  I get to see pictures, chat with people, know how people are doing.  I hate, HATE, however, the vague status update BEGGING for people to give you sympathy.

Case in point.  Yesterday a friend posts this as her status ":-*(" at around 4 a.m.

Of course, several people post, "What's wrong?"  "Are you okay?" and the like, including me.

Six hours later there is no response.

Feeling concerned that maybe something is SERIOUSLY wrong, I text her.

She writes me back that she doesn't feel like talking about it right now.

THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU POST THAT ON FACEBOOK????  ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE FOR SYMPATHY AND ATTENTION FROM PEOPLE???

This drives me BATTY.  Seriously.  It makes me want to stab a fork in my eye.  Well not really, because I have that eye thing (more on that on some other time), but for fuck's sake. 

PYHO 2.  A cousin of John's had her second baby earlier this month.  A friend of mine had a baby yesterday.  Her first.  I haven't had a chance to hear the birth story yet from either of them, but the births of their babies have put me at ease.

See, I was a little worried that when I was around, or heard about new babies, I would feel wistful and sad that John and I aren't having any more.  That we can't have anymore, thanks to V-Day.   I was perfectly fine and happy around my pregnant friends, and glad I wasn't pregnant, but I was worried when the actual babies came, I'd feel differently.

I don't.

I'm still incredibly happy we are two and through. I'm still incredibly certain we made the absolute right decision for us, our family, and our lives.  I couldn't ask for better kids.  I couldn't ask for a better family.  So many people told us we should wait till we were older, what if in seven years we change our minds etc.

Sure, I guess there is a slim chance that could happen.  Although I never wanted huge age gaps between my kids (PJ and Mags are 19 months apart).  John even though the 3 year he and his sister are apart was too much.  So I don't see that changing when PJ is 9 and Maggie is 7.    I am glad that we can keep our current vehicle.  That we can go on yearly family vacations.  That we can buy them separate toys and they won't fight over them (most of them) because they won't want the same things.

And we lost our very first baby, he or she is an angel, happy to see the family they left behind doing so well.

PYHO 3.  I'm having a difficult time figuring out if and how to tell people about my mom's current state.  Not many people ask me how she's doing -- I'm not sure why, maybe because they know the news won't be good, maybe because they think I'll be sad (which I'm not).  But it bothers me that people in my life don't know that I'm desperately trying to convince her and my stepdad to get hospice.  I shouldn't say trying yet because I haven't had the opportunity to bring it up to them yet except for an email to my stepdad that he didn't respond to.  But a lot of people in my life don't know this, because they don't ask.  It bothers me that they aren't asking.  I don't expect people to ask everyday.  But if I mention her, I don't see why they don't.   I know it's difficult for people to grasp the situation, I know it's depressing and not something you enjoy talking about, but I guess I base it on my own actions.

A good friend of mine's father has Stage 4 esophegeal cancer.  He's outlived the odds, by far.  He's still got cancer. He's still not going to be here as long as he would be.  I always ask her how he's doing.  Always.  And I guess I don't understand why more people don't do the same for me.