V-Day

No, not Valentine's Day.

Vasectomy Day.

Yesterday was V-day.  That's right.  We're two and through.  Finished.  Done.  Have completed our family.

Anyway, I know lots of guys are very apprehensive about getting this done.  However, in comparison to what WE have to get done, this is a fucking martini. :)

John's appointment was at 9:30, and he had to be there at 9:15.   He was instructed to take his Valium 30 minutes prior. 

Let me just say that anyone who takes Valium on a regular basis -- I have no idea how they function.   More on that later.

I dropped John off and since the doctor said it took about 20-30 minutes, said we'd be back at 10 to pick him up.  I took the kids to a park a couple blocks away.

At 9:40 a.m. he called, and was done.

Yes it took 12 minutes.

This is where the valium part kicks in.

I could tell he was out of it.  He was slow moving, slow talking, not really making any facial expressions.  It was kind of funny.  Of course, he couldn't pick up the kids or anything.  He said he wasn't sore, just feeling some pressure changes, which the doctor told him about.

We went to get bagels.  Where PJ ate an ENTIRE CINNAMOM RAISIN BAGEL.  Seriously.  That kid. :)

We headed home, and John went to take a nap, which was a good thing.

Can I interject here that my children BOTH took two hour naps at the SAME TIME while my husband was napping?  I was able to watch whatever I wanted on TV, eat cheetos, and not be bothered for TWO ENTIRE HOURS.  It was glorious.

Anyway.  John told me to wake him at 1.  That didn't happen.

1:24.  Nope.  "Wake me at 2."

2:05.  Nope.

2:25.  Kids are up.  We are supposed to be leaving at 3 to go run an errand for my parents.

2:40.  He gets up.

He's still a little slow but seemingly okay.  Comes downstairs, gives PJ his juice, decides he has to pee.

I hear a huge CRASH.

"Babe?  Are you okay?"  No answer.

Panic.  I run into the bathroom.  The basket that sits on top of our toilet is on the floor, contents strewn everywhere.  The toliet paper is off the holder.  John is sitting on the floor, half holding on to the toliet.

He blacked out from the Valium.  He said he got dizzy, put his hand on the sink, but doesn't remember falling or anything.  He woke up and asked what was he doing? 

Scariest thing ever.

He hurt his arm and leg, but he's okay.  And let me emphasize this had NOTHING TO DO WITH THE VASECTOMY, but the Valium.  The other V.

So it was a successful V-day, and the Valium did wear off.  But seriously, how the hell do people take that on a daily basis and function?  I'll never know.