I am resentful and jealous of SAHMs.
I would give anything to SAH. Anything. I loved being home on maternity leave. I know being a SAHM is hard work. I know it's not a cakewalk, as many men and many women who aren't mothers believe. I don't want to SAH because I think it will be easier than working, because truth be told, I think working at a job outside of the home is easier than being a SAHM. I want to SAH because I hate that my kids spend their day laughing and playing with someone else. That when they hurt themselves, or want a hug, they have to go to someone else. I hate that I miss 9-10 hours of their life every single weekday.
I have a friend who is a SAHM who does nothing but complain about it. Complain about how she's in hell, and wants a part-time job so she can have a break. Complain about how hard it is and how she wishes she could have a break. All the time about wanting a break. I'm not saying when I was at home, there weren't days where I wished I could have a little time for myself. Sure there were. But I always got it. Maybe not that day. But sometime. And it was good. It makes me so mad to see her complaints, to see the other SAHMs she is friends with back her up and all the while all of us working moms fuming because she has NO IDEA what it is to have to leave your kids everyday. To have to wake them up when they are sleeping to get them ready to go to the sitter. To race home as quickly as possible because you don't want to waste a single minute of time you can be spending with them.
I'm not saying all SAHMs are like this. I am sure many realize exactly how awesome and lucky they are. I am jealous. I am jealous of the fact that your husband makes enough money to allow you to stay home. I am jealous of the fact that you can take your kids to the park on a beautiful day, or go outside and play in freshly fallen snow, or take advantage of the classes the park district offers. I am resentful when I see you post these things on FB, or tell me about it later. I am resentful when you bitch about the wonderful opportunity you have to spend all day with your children.
However, I am grateful. I am grateful each day I am so happy and excited to see my kids, because I haven't been there with them all day. I am grateful for how excited THEY get when they see me. I am grateful that because I have to work, I am able to appreciate and look so forward to the days I have off, the vacations we will take, and the weekends. I am grateful that no matter what happens, I will always have the image of the grin on PJ's face when I walk into the room after work. And soon Maggie's.
WORD!!
ReplyDeleteIt's all hard, isn't it? For me, if I were to go back to my job, it wouldn't pay for daycare. Yet, with just the one paycheck, we struggled. So now I'm WAH.And I'm thankful for that- even if I do complain about it sometimes, too.
ReplyDeleteYou can always link this up next week, too, if you want.
I was so confused when I saw the title! Lol!
ReplyDeleteI feel extremely blessed to be able to stay home. Of course, that wasn't the original plan, but thanks to getting laid off, it made it possible. I'm not sure how long we can swing this financially (I'm still getting severance and can collect unemployment too), but I'm enjoying (almost) every minute! Sure there are days that I want a break, but I'd rather be here than at a "job". SAHM is way more work than any job!
And having worked a FT job for almost a year after having Alice, I can say that I agree. It is so hard leaving them with someone who gets to play and have fun with them. Who gets to do hugs when they need them. But the excitement on their faces when they see you...that makes it worth the sacrifice!
I agree completely, but as a teacher I come a SAHM over the summer, so I get the best of both worlds and let me tell you, being a SAHM is far easier. Yes, you work hard and it can feel like you can't go anywhere, but imagine all the things you can do all day like cleaning, cooking, etc. all only being able to be completed in the short few hours that you are home? That's the hard part, my house is in a complete state of disarray! All so i can spend the day with someone else's kids, ironically.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but I see both sides of it, and if I could stay at home, I would pick that any day.
Thanks for the perspective. I recently lost my wonderful part-time job that let me be with my kids a good portion of every day. Suddenly going into fill SAHM life (with the forced stress of losing a job and paycheck) was a terrible transition for me. But I'm now so grateful for the extra time with the kids. Yes, after several months of hard, hard work, it is finally feeling more natural. Thanks again for reminding me to be grateful!
ReplyDeleteMe again. I wanted to give you a head's up that I'm posting on Friday and linking back to this post of yours. You really got my attention with this and I feel like an idiot for being so down about my sudden SAHM life. It's a nice post. I'll e-mail you in advance with the post if you. Just shoot me a note at heligirljen@gmail.com. :)
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