PYHO: One and Only

I have two amazing children.  I have a fantastic husband.

Sometimes we need help.

Last night, John had to go to the ER.  He's doing fine -- he was having some severe pain and it was very concerning, so we went in and although he's still in pain, he's got pain meds and we're waiting for some test results to see if it's an infection.

Anyway.  Obviously I couldn't bring PJ and Maggie to the hospital with me.  So we had to ask my sister-in-law.

She came over right from work.  She didn't go home to see her OWN children.  To eat some dinner.  To change her clothes.

She came over immediately.  Our nephew came by to play with PJ for a little while.

She put my kids to sleep and waited for us to get home at nearly 11:00 last night.

She did it without thinking about it, without hesitation.

I felt bad though.  Not being able to go home and see her kids after working all day.  Not being able to eat dinner.  John kept telling me not to feel bad, that she's his sister, that we'd do the same for her.  And of course we would.  But....

I'm an only child.

I've never known the closeness of a sibling, the rivalry, the love, the fun, the fighting, the teasing.  It was always just me.

And as much as my SIL is a sister to me -- she really is, and I've told her so -- I've only had said "sister" for about six years.

Not my entire life.

I saw them lean on each other when their dad died.  I found myself wishing I'd have someone like that to lean on when my mom dies.  Someone who shared her as their mom.  Someone who I could talk about childhood memories with.

I have none of that.  It's just me.  I don't even have a father to share my first eight years of life memories with because my biological father is a loser and I haven't seen and/or spoken to him in 14 years.  My stepdad, as amazing as he is, wasn't part of my life till I was 8.  And even then, not so much because I had a hard time accepting him till I was much older.

I knew early on in life that I would not have only one child.  That I wouldn't subject my first born to the loneliness that I experienced -- sure, being an only child does have some perks -- but I longed for that playmate on a rainy day.  Or someone to sneak out to the living room and watch movies with.  Someone who I could talk to, joke with, laugh with.

Someone who would understand what it was like to lose my mom to a terrible disease, and not have her be able to be the Grandma she always dreamed of being.

I am so grateful that PJ and Maggie will always have each other.  I know they will fight, not get along, go through periods where they just can't stand each other.  But I also know that when they are adults, they will have each other.  And that is so comforting.

So to my SIL, who will never read this, thank you.  Thank you for being the sister I always wanted but never had.