A friend sent me a message yesterday.
I just wanted to drop you a note & tell you I think you're one of the strongest people I've ever met. That is all. XOXO.
She had no idea how desperately I needed to hear that yesterday.
Even though I question it.
Am I strong? A lot of people would say that I am. And I, too, think I am strong. I was forced to grow up quickly and before I should have. My childhood wasn't the best. And as they say, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
But am I strong enough?
I've been strong through a lot of stuff. Being strong through my mom's disease though, has made others notice.
Of course, John noticed me being strong through the other stuff. But now others are noticing.
I am worried I won't be able to keep this strength till the end. I am realistic now. I am factual, clear-minded, and decisive.
But is this enough?
My best and oldest friend (we've been friends since we were 16, so come January I'll officially have known her half my life) insisted I would be.
Because I'm a mother.
Becoming a mom changes things. You can't stop being a mom. You can't shut it off. You can't stop giving hugs, or kissing boo-boos, or singing good night songs because something bad is happening.
Especially when those little ones don't understand what's happening.
Especially when they know you are sad, and come over to you and pick your face up in your hands and give you a kiss.
So although my pain will be severe, although my grief will be unimaginable, I will be strong enough.
Because of them.
..
gah, i'm SO emotional and now i'm crying again. :) good stuff, mama; good stuff. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteYou are strong enough.
ReplyDeleteYou're also not alone, and we're all here when you need us. Even me :-)
Yes, mama, you are strong enough!
ReplyDeleteWhat an awesome post!
And that is all we need- just enough. Love love that picture!
ReplyDeleteYou are strong enough!
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely the strongest person I know.
ReplyDeleteIt's a good feeling when others notice your strength and admire you for it.
ReplyDeleteEven then, it's still okay to have your weak moments. In fact, sometimes I think some of the strongest women are the ones who have the courage to question their strength at times.
I think you'll be amazed at how strong you can be when the situation calls for it.
You are a strong woman! And your friend is right...once you become a mother it only makes this attribute stronger!
ReplyDeletePrecious picture! You are a strong mama! :) Beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteYou're so right about how being a mom makes us pick up and keep going. You'll get through this.
ReplyDeleteYou are a strong woman - I can sense it in your words. My kids have made me stronger too.
ReplyDeleteYou're so right. Being a mom makes us push through the hard times. You'll get through it, you are strong!!
ReplyDeleteYou're going to make it through this. Promise.
ReplyDeleteMy uncle always says, "parenthood is not for the weak," but I reckon it's the wee'uns that make us stronger and better able to deal with what life throws at us because of how strong we have to be for them.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully stated! And, I feel the same way. It's amazing how having children and being really relied upon changes how we handle the tough parts of life. You are strong enough and will get through whatever life throws your way. I just know it!
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