Today, you are 4

(This was supposed to post Friday, on PJ's birthday, but didn't).

Dear PJ,

Happy birthday! You are four years old today. I can't even believe it. I remember every minute of this day four years ago.

Four years ago today my life changed forever. Four years ago today you made me what I am most proud to call myself today.

A mom.

I remember the first second I saw you and held you in my arms. Tears streamed down my face. You were perfect. You had so much hair, and you looked just like your daddy. You were 16 days early -- no doubt trying to ease your mama's pain from her absolutely horrible swollen feet -- and I felt my heart was going to burst out of my chest with the love I had for you, instantly.

Your dad and I have tried our best to make your first four years filled with love, fun, care, and life. You've been to more states in your first four years than I went in my first 28.

Every day you amaze me. You are extremely smart. You are sweet and loving beyond compare. You are funny and silly and very much love to hear we are proud of you. You are a great big brother -- you have your moments -- but I never doubt the love you have for your sister nor the lengths you would go to protect her.

You are stubborn -- trying to get you to try a new food is a challenge.

You are smart -- you know shapes, letters, colors, numbers, you can play games on the computer better than I can.

You are funny -- you say silly things like "how are we going to fit the pool in the car?" or just be a goofball.

You are amazing -- watching you grow and become the person you are has been one of the greatest joys in my life, and it will continue you to be as you (gulp) get older.

You are loving -- always giving and receiving hugs, kisses, always wanting one more hug and kiss.  You always want to hug hello and good bye and your affection for the people you care about is always great.

PJ, you are my pride and joy.  You and Maggie are the reason that I have gotten through all the challenges and hardships life has thrown at me these past few years.  You make me happy beyond words.   Every day I look forward to seeing you and spending time with you.  There is nothing you could ever do that would make my love for you ever dwindle or lessen.  Each day, I love you more.

So happy birthday to my little guy, my first born.  May your year be filled with wonder, joy, love and fun.  Thank you for showing me what happiness really is.

I love you.

Always, Mommy