PYHO: Family

I have a very small family.   I have no siblings.  You know I lost my mom.  I have my stepdad, an uncle who lives in another state, a couple of cousins I rarely see.

My husband has a large family.  Who have embraced me as their own, and I love them.  And I am so happy to be a part of them.

Although she's nutty, my MIL is great too.  She's always done right by me, and my kids.  Sure, she's pissed me off, sure, she's said things that were appalling.  But she's a good mother in law to me.  And she has repeatedly told me that she knows she can't replace my mom, but she's always here for me.  Which I appreciate.

I have an SIL too.  Who I also love.  Who's a little nutty. And overly sensitive.

And pretty much exactly like her mother.

My MIL and SIL are rarely getting along.  They constantly get pissed at each other, then act like an asshole to each other, thus starting the whole cycle over again.

My SIL is married to a loser.  This upsets my MIL.  As a mother, I cannot blame her.  No one wants to see their daughter in this kind of situation.  But she doesn't know how to approach it as supportive, caring, concerned.

She comes off judgemental.  And bitchy.

And my SIL gets defensive.

And we are in the middle.

My SIL thinks my MIL favors my kids over hers.  And maybe she does a little.  We did it the "right" way.  We got married.  Got pregnant.  Our kids are better behaved.   

We also have invited MIL into their lives more. She's our main babysitter.  We get together with her for dinner once a month.

It's draining.  Having two people in your family constantly at odds.  People who are going to be at many of the same functions, many of the same get togethers, and have this constant tension in the air.

The passive-aggressive comments.

The sadness.  The hurt.

We are in the middle.  I just want them to be friends.  I love them both.  They are both important to me.  It's sad that they are in this kind of situation.

But I don't know what to do.

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