Babes, and other stuff, but not happy stuff

Good night of sleeping for miss Maggie last night.  Good thing too.

My FIL is back in the hospital.  There's a laundry list of things that are wrong with him, and things that could be wrong with him, so I'll save it till we have an answer.

I never thought, at 31 years old, when I have two small children, that the imminent death of not only my own mom, but my husband's dad wou.ld be something to be concerned about.  My grandmother was 82 when she died.  John's grandma was 77, and he still has his other three grandparents, all nearing 80.  Their children are in their 50s.  Why do we have to worry about this in our 30s??

I'm amazed my FIL is still around, to be honest.  It defies logic.  It also infuriates me that the things that are wrong with him he did to HIMSELF, whereas my mom is suffering from what I am convinced is the worst disease you can possibly have.  Through no fault of her own.  Through no ability to prevent, treat or cure ALS.  I've seen her go from the never stopping, always doing something, spunky mom that I had to someone who cannot move at all on her own, barely can speak, and has wittled down to 93 pounds in less than two years.  And I have to know that she KNOWS what is going on.  It's the worst fucking disease out there.  I get the cancer is bad.  I get that other diseases are bad.  But not only is ALS so fucking terrible, there's no funding for it.  There's no research, because the government doesn't think enough people have it.  Nice.

If my mom is here one year from today, I'd be beyond surprised.  The Universe has shit on us for awhile -- we've gotten some amazing things too -- our wonderful, amazing, phenomenal kids.  PJ and Maggie are the world to both of us.  I honestly don't think we'd have gotten through any of the bullshit without them.  But we've lost a baby, we've lost Neo, our dear dog, my mom got diagnosed with ALS, John's dad has so many things wrong with him.  I just hope, Universe, that you don't decide to take my mom and John's dad around the same time.  Because that would just be the cruelest punishment for two people who really, really don't deserve it.