The other night, PJ let the dog out. Into the backyard, out the back door.
"Mommy!! I see the moon!! Do you want to come see it?"
"Sure buddy, we can see it from the front door."
We step outside.
"See? There's the moon!"
"Oooh cool. Come here Mommy!"
Grabs my hand, runs out the back door.
"There's one here too!"
:)
The O'Gs. No, not the Original Gangstas. But close.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Do you?
http://thingsicantsay.com/" target="_blank">
http://thingsicantsay.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/pouryourheart1.png
" />
Do you know that I can't help but think of you every time I walk to work in the morning, knowing you used to walk the same walk?
Do you feel my heart break when I hear a song that reminds me of you?
Do you know that a little piece of me aches and cries when someone says Maggie looks like you?
Do you see me struggle without you?
Do you hear me talking to you? Asking for help? Just saying hello?
Do you know that I don't like to go to the cemetery because I hate seeing your name in stone?
Do you know that I hate that I feel like no one understands?
Do you see me hurting, aching, and keeping it inside?
Do you want to reach out and hug me and tell me it will all be okay?
Do you know that with each day that passes, I miss you more?
Do you feel my anger? Do you resent me when it's directed at you?
Do you know that I will never, ever get over you?
" />
Do you know that I can't help but think of you every time I walk to work in the morning, knowing you used to walk the same walk?
Do you feel my heart break when I hear a song that reminds me of you?
Do you know that a little piece of me aches and cries when someone says Maggie looks like you?
Do you see me struggle without you?
Do you hear me talking to you? Asking for help? Just saying hello?
Do you know that I don't like to go to the cemetery because I hate seeing your name in stone?
Do you know that I hate that I feel like no one understands?
Do you see me hurting, aching, and keeping it inside?
Do you want to reach out and hug me and tell me it will all be okay?
Do you know that with each day that passes, I miss you more?
Do you feel my anger? Do you resent me when it's directed at you?
Do you know that I will never, ever get over you?
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Where's my cape?
There comes a time in every little boy's life where he loves superheroes.
In PJ's life, that time is now.
Spiderman. Batman. TMNT.
I bought him a set of Batman pajamas. They have a cape.
He spent all night last night "flying."
"LOOK MOMMY!! I'm flying!"
"WATCH DADDY!! Watch me fly!!"
Run into the room, slide across the floor.
Repeat.
Took Batman's cape off for bed.
Woke up this morning.
"Where's my cape?"
In PJ's life, that time is now.
Spiderman. Batman. TMNT.
I bought him a set of Batman pajamas. They have a cape.
He spent all night last night "flying."
"LOOK MOMMY!! I'm flying!"
"WATCH DADDY!! Watch me fly!!"
Run into the room, slide across the floor.
Repeat.
Took Batman's cape off for bed.
Woke up this morning.
"Where's my cape?"
Monday, October 22, 2012
Hello...is there anybody out there?
I've been a very bad bloggy friend. I can't believe so many of you have stuck around. I thank you.
Many things have happened in my lack of blogging days.
I turned 33.
My baby girl turned 2. Yes, my beautiful Maggie turned 2 years old.
And my stepdad bought a condo and we are moving November 23. The day after thanksgiving. I cannot wait to move.
Although it's been rough. Going through my mom's stuff. Giving it away, because the woman was a size 2 on her fattest day, and I haven't been a size 2 since 1995.
But my loves. Are amazing.
PJ has full on conversations. He remembers stuff. He's totally into the new TMNT (if you don't know what that is, you are not a child of the 90s). He loves superheroes, especially spiderman. And he's a huge Bears fan.
Maggie? Says more things than I can say.
"I'll be right back you guys."
"Mommy, I dropped my blanekt."
"I want to watch Dora!"
"I go with you to get food Mommy?"
She amazes me every day.
So I'm going to try to be a better bloggy friend. I missed you all.
Many things have happened in my lack of blogging days.
I turned 33.
My baby girl turned 2. Yes, my beautiful Maggie turned 2 years old.
And my stepdad bought a condo and we are moving November 23. The day after thanksgiving. I cannot wait to move.
Although it's been rough. Going through my mom's stuff. Giving it away, because the woman was a size 2 on her fattest day, and I haven't been a size 2 since 1995.
But my loves. Are amazing.
PJ has full on conversations. He remembers stuff. He's totally into the new TMNT (if you don't know what that is, you are not a child of the 90s). He loves superheroes, especially spiderman. And he's a huge Bears fan.
Maggie? Says more things than I can say.
"I'll be right back you guys."
"Mommy, I dropped my blanekt."
"I want to watch Dora!"
"I go with you to get food Mommy?"
She amazes me every day.
So I'm going to try to be a better bloggy friend. I missed you all.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
You're welcome.
More proof that Morgan Freeman should narrate everything. Include NFL football games.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
It's okay, Moms.
In the past three months, a cousin, my sister in law, and a friend have had babies.
Their second, third and first babies, respectively.
All of them started out with the intention to breastfeed.
All of them have since stopped.
This has caused feelings of failure. Of not being good enough. Of self doubt. Of sadness. Of feeling they are not a good mom.
Let me say this.
Being a mother is an amazing thing. Holding that little baby in your arms, knowing that you would do absolutely anything to ensure their happiness, health and safety. Never imagining you could love someone this much, and then waking up tomorrow and realizing you love them even more.
Being a mother is rewarding. Seeing your child smile at you for the first time. Watching them grow, learn, achieve. Getting hugs, kisses, unconditional love.
Being a mother is hard.
There are things that you just do. You don't even think about it. They become second nature. And although we all know this, we judge each other.
It's okay if you can't breastfeed. It's okay if you formula feed.
It's okay if you don't do the laundry, or the dishes, or you spend all day in your jammies and your hair in a messy bun.
It's okay if you cry. It's okay if when you cry, you have no idea why.
It's okay if you take a shower, and you hear the baby crying, and you don't rush to finish because you need that 10 minutes of hot water pulsating on your back.
It's okay if you put on the TV so you can have 10 minutes to complete something you need to take care of.
It's okay if you desperately ache for a night out with your girlfriends, only to find an hour into it you desperately miss your baby.
It's okay if an hour into it, you don't.
It's okay if you crave adult conversation.
It's okay if you have a drink, even if you're breastfeeding, because lord knows one drink isn't going to make your baby drunk.
It's okay if you go to the grocery store with spit up on your shirt.
It's okay if you miss the days where going out did not require finding a babysitter, making bottles, preparing clothes, and it's okay if it pisses you off that your husband still doesn't have to do these things.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are not a failure. You gave birth. You incubated and housed a living person in your body for nine months. You have up your body to this person. You brought this person into the world and sometimes our bodies don't work the way we want them to.
And that's okay. Because at the end of the day, you are a mother. Because you can't or choose not to breastfeed, use disposable diapers over cloth, don't have them enrolled in newborn mommy & me classes, doesn't mean you love your kids less. It doesn't mean you are a lesser mother than those who do these things.
What it means is that you love your baby. It means you are doing whatever it takes to be the best mother you can be, in the way that works for you and your baby.
And that's okay.
Their second, third and first babies, respectively.
All of them started out with the intention to breastfeed.
All of them have since stopped.
This has caused feelings of failure. Of not being good enough. Of self doubt. Of sadness. Of feeling they are not a good mom.
Let me say this.
Being a mother is an amazing thing. Holding that little baby in your arms, knowing that you would do absolutely anything to ensure their happiness, health and safety. Never imagining you could love someone this much, and then waking up tomorrow and realizing you love them even more.
Being a mother is rewarding. Seeing your child smile at you for the first time. Watching them grow, learn, achieve. Getting hugs, kisses, unconditional love.
Being a mother is hard.
There are things that you just do. You don't even think about it. They become second nature. And although we all know this, we judge each other.
It's okay if you can't breastfeed. It's okay if you formula feed.
It's okay if you don't do the laundry, or the dishes, or you spend all day in your jammies and your hair in a messy bun.
It's okay if you cry. It's okay if when you cry, you have no idea why.
It's okay if you take a shower, and you hear the baby crying, and you don't rush to finish because you need that 10 minutes of hot water pulsating on your back.
It's okay if you put on the TV so you can have 10 minutes to complete something you need to take care of.
It's okay if you desperately ache for a night out with your girlfriends, only to find an hour into it you desperately miss your baby.
It's okay if an hour into it, you don't.
It's okay if you crave adult conversation.
It's okay if you have a drink, even if you're breastfeeding, because lord knows one drink isn't going to make your baby drunk.
It's okay if you go to the grocery store with spit up on your shirt.
It's okay if you miss the days where going out did not require finding a babysitter, making bottles, preparing clothes, and it's okay if it pisses you off that your husband still doesn't have to do these things.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are not a failure. You gave birth. You incubated and housed a living person in your body for nine months. You have up your body to this person. You brought this person into the world and sometimes our bodies don't work the way we want them to.
And that's okay. Because at the end of the day, you are a mother. Because you can't or choose not to breastfeed, use disposable diapers over cloth, don't have them enrolled in newborn mommy & me classes, doesn't mean you love your kids less. It doesn't mean you are a lesser mother than those who do these things.
What it means is that you love your baby. It means you are doing whatever it takes to be the best mother you can be, in the way that works for you and your baby.
And that's okay.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
New Beginnings...
My SIL gave birth to my beautiful baby niece on Friday. Meet Ava!
Both mama and baby are doing well.
There's a lot of drama going on in our family. Well, my married into family. John & I are the stable, calm ones -- if you can believe it. However, because of this, we are also the ones being put in the middle.
It breaks my heart. There's so much tension, judgment, and anger between my MIL and my SIL and her husband. I just want to scream at them to stop this, that life is too short, that you never know what may happen. I want us all to get along, to enjoy each other's company.
To feel like a family.
I want my kids to grow up knowing what's it like to be close with family. They have little family on my side, and lots of family on their dad's side. But this vendetta, this need to constantly bicker, must end.
The children end up suffering. The amazing, beautiful, precious beings we love so much.
Let it go.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)