Family...the other f-word

Today I have one of my favorite bloggy friends, Rebecca posting.  I am not sure how I came across her blog, but I LOVE it and her.  I love her posts of conversations with her adorable twins (the Crazies) and just love the way she writes.  She is definitely one of my BBFs (best bloggy friends).  So give her some love HERE (since this post is not to be seen by the OTHER F-word) and then go visit her blog and read the rest of her awesomesauce.
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Family…the other f-word
Let’s face it…family is a necessary evil.

We all have one.

We all love them.

At the same time, we can’t stand them.

They’re demanding.

But they just want to spend time with us.

They’re bossy.

But they just know what’s best for us.

They’re invasive.

But they do it in a loving way.

They try to tell us what to do.

But only because they think they know us better than we know ourselves.

They really don’t, you know…

All they know is what they want you to do.

I’ll tell you one thing (and I can only say this because I’m over here and not on my own blog…I made the colossal mistake of sharing my blog with my family and my in-laws…duh)…if I had to do it over again, I wouldn’t have anyone but my mother at the hospital the day the twins (affectionately dubbed The Crazies) were born.

That event…that joyous event…caused more strife in my family than any other event in the history of mankind (or that’s how I see it).

Ridiculous.

So, what if I had it to do over again?

If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t have “friended” any of my in-laws on Facebook. Not a single one. Even the ones that were cool at first have turned into class A assholes.

If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t spend one second trying to explain something I’d written on my blog that sent my mother into a worried frenzy that I was going to give the Crazies up for adoption or something ridiculous. It’s a total waste of time.

If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t have even tried breastfeeding.

If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t spend so much time trying to get The Crazies to remember members of my family that don’t take the time or make the effort to see them. Why am I bothering? So my soul will go to Heaven? Again, colossal waste of time.

If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t be so forgiving.

If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t try to change things…I would just let them sit in their vat of “sameness” and wallow in it.

Although…

If I didn’t share my blog, how would I be able to pretend that I don’t know they still read it? They never mention it outright. They never comment. They just pretend that it doesn’t exist. They don’t know anything about Google Analytics and the fact that I can tell how many times they visit and revisit (apparently I’m riveting) my blog.

* By “they/them,” I mean the in-laws.

If they weren’t at the hospital, what would we possibly have to talk about now? The actual birth of The Crazies? The fact that I had some man’s hands in my abdominal cavity? Nah! It’s much more fun to dissect the breakdown of our family over cocktails.

If I hadn’t “friended” them on Facebook, how would I be able to share in the continuing drama that unfolds on a public forum? We’ve all seen that, right? It’s like watching a train wreck…except you have to sit next to the victims at Thanksgiving.

If I didn’t have to explain my blog to my mother, we may not have some of the deeper conversations that we’ve had over the past three years. In my explanations of my own parenting, not only has she gotten to know me more as a woman, but also I’ve gotten to realize how much I need her as my mother…and my friend.

If I hadn’t tried breastfeeding, I would have questioned myself forever. It didn’t work, but I tried like crazy for 3 months. Then I found that lovely powder that turns into liquid gold…formula.

If I don’t spend time trying to get The Crazies to remember family members that don’t give them the same respect, I wouldn’t feel so satisfied when I sit there innocently during a visit where my children won’t go to their grandfather. They’re afraid of someone they don’t know…imagine that. But hey, I did my best.

If I wasn’t so forgiving, I might not sleep at night.

If I didn’t attempt change, Husband may be just like his family. Thankfully, he goes for the change sometimes and we have a great life and have created some pretty awesome family traditions…not full family…our family.

So, there you have it. The good, bad, and ugly of my family (the other f-word) on a forum that they can never find…that’s right…I’m naïve enough to believe they can never find it and if any of you visit my blog, you are sworn to secrecy that I’ve even written these words over here.

God, this is freeing! Maybe I should guest post more often! Come over and visit us at www.thejoyofivf.blogspot.com. We’ll be waiting!